***NOTE:
It is not to be taken seriously. The reviews (at least this one) are
done just 4 trollz n lulz. Also, this is meant to be “You Know
What's Bullshit” parody, so expect some coarse language***
Mind-Boggling
Review #02:
Death
Note
People
already know the power this object holds, and that any power comes
with a price. And the price of this abomination is being a holder of
an object with a bunch of flaws.
The
first flaw that catches the eye is the color. I know that you do not
judge a book by its cover, but why of all the colors it has to be
black? Why not pink, or yellow, or Batman-style? And do not try
making excuses: The notebook was painted black with some
unindetifiable fluid according to Death Note episode where agents get
the damn godforsaken piece of shit and start staring at its physical
properties. Or was it the ink? Nevermind.
Second,
how long does it takes to kill a person? Several precise cuts with a
knife, less than a second with a headshot from a sniper rifle,
instantly with a conviniently placed stick of TNT, and how long does
the notebook take? 40 seconds. And then it gives the person a heart
attack. Considering that you're surrounded by humans, you need to be more original to stay
non-suspicious. So that's another six minutes just for adding a few
more options.
Plus,
you have to know the name and the face of each and every single one
of those two-legged bastards. That ought to be enough to prevent you
from trying to use the fucking thing as self-defence item when you
run into “Michael Johnson and the Dancing Amish farmers from Outer
Space” crapcore band that's super-popular somewhere between
Atlantis and Canada. I tried. Right after some bespectacled clown
with a crowbar fucked up my homeland. Then another fatass on a giant
robot with its head replaced by a car just happened to come by and
destroy Crystal Empire and some of its surroundings. Along with my
reincarnation. And then I came back as a human in the same land,
where I just happened to find some humans, who later threw me into a
closet and sank the ship in the sea that formed in a few seconds of
what Tay Zonday was once singing about. And when I have reincarnated
as a human, AGAIN, after the band incident, I look at things and
write crap about it. Funny, huh?
But
let's get back to the Note. So far, with all of its flaws, you think
you're done now? Well fuck no!
Along
with this worthless piece of crap, I have to tolerate some death
angel who claims to be its past owner. What an asshole. The guy just
keeps nagging you all the time, while eating all of your apples. And on top of it, you
can't kill him. Not even the notebook takes him down.
So
bottom line: Death Note is bullshit.
